3/28/2012 6 Comments Shots Shots Shots...Everybody!Every night I have to get 3 shots, sometimes 4 if the medicine runs out of one of the cartridges and I have to finish getting the dose with a lucky extra shot. There is no piece of candy or smiley face sticker I get at the end of the appointment. Nope, every night I get these shots at home, with my poor husband, mom and best friend sharing the duty. I’m sure they all wish I got them at the doctor’s office because I am not a good patient and I'm getting worse by the day.
What the doctor suggests is that I give myself the shots. Makes sense since someone may not always be home. But have you ever tried to do this? If so, and you were successful, I need some tips. I would rather get stuck in an elevator (I'm claustrophobic) than give myself a shot. But I attempted it. One day when no one else was home, I had no choice but to give it to myself. I counted down the minutes; I have to get them at the same time every night. I was dreading it, and second by second I knew what was coming. I prepared all of the shots and thought that if I watched TV at the same time, it wouldn’t be so bad. I grab a piece of my stomach and sit there with the needle just close enough to my skin not to touch it. Three, two, one…............I can’t, I can’t do it. Deep breath, threeeeee, twooooo, one...............…god dammit. Ugh! Okay, no count down this time, just watch the TV and pick up the needle and jab it in (like I’m going to catch myself off guard). Reeeaaady NOW.............…I can’t do it. Shit. Why am I such a pussy! I know that it’s only going to hurt for a second, but to see the needle go into the skin…I’m sweating. I take out an orange and an avocado and “practice” on those. I know damn well that it’s not going to feel the same as sticking those fruits, but I’m trying to get a sense of how hard I have to push to get it in the skin. A half hour goes by and I’m still counting down, trying to stick myself. I bounce one right off my skin, I don’t know how, but there’s a bruise. This shot session is going downhill fast and yep...I’m now hysterical. Crying my eyes out and totally pissed off at myself. I’m pathetic, I can’t do it. I tried and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m going to call Joey and just tell him that this is ridiculous and I can’t do it anymore. This is stupid. That’s it, I’m giving up. It’s just not meant to be. I know how upset he’ll be with this news, so I sit and cry and dwell on it for a few more minutes. The next best thing to do is, of course, call mom. I call my mom, who just so happens to live around the corner, and she tells me to come over and she’ll give me the shots. Why the hell didn’t I just do this 40 minutes ago? What could I possibly have to prove to myself by giving myself a shot? I swallow my pride and arrive defeated. She gives me a big hug, we cry for a minute, and then she gives me the shots. As I walk out the door, in true dad form, my dad sarcastically says, “Welp, did that hurt”. Of course it didn’t and now I’m even more pissed at myself for making such hoopla out of it. It would have hurt less if I would have just given it to myself and went to freakin’ sleep an hour ago. I text Joey and tell him I got the shots and don’t feel like talking. He texts me back and says how proud of me he is for trying so hard. I guess this will all be worth it. Nonetheless, I will not be attempting to give myself any more shots. I ain’t too proud to beg. I have enlisted three people to administer the shots so far and yes, you could be next. Raising a child takes a village and, in my case, getting pregnant does too. And the saga continues: Joey would like me to add that while I was at my mom's house, he had been calling my phone. By the tenth try he thought I had passed out, hit my head on the table and had convinced himself that he needed to come home to revive me. Luckily, I texted him before he left the station. Oh, the drama, all over a little half-inch needle! My Random Thought: I've been feeling pretty good and today I thought I was all pieced together until I went to the bathroom and my underwear was on inside out.
6 Comments
Ann Juhl (Quillin)
3/28/2012 04:46:51 am
about the shots, I am a nurse and give shots to others all the time. I have had to give myself shots and I hated it. I too delayed the event to the very end. I do not think you are a whimp but rather very strong. In reality the shots are a very small part of what you are going through, easiest to dread. My heart goes out to you, I keep you in my prayers and wish you only success in the end.
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Stefanie
3/29/2012 05:16:12 am
Jan - this one made me laugh out loud. I know it's not funny but I can just picture myself in this situation and acting the same way. I live close too and if you need me to, i'll stick a needle in you anytime :)
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Kelli
3/29/2012 06:03:24 am
Janet!! I wish I was there to help stick the needle in you!! Although I think I'd be just as chicken to stick ya! I love you friend and am sorry you have to go through all of this.
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Holly Brown
3/29/2012 06:16:40 am
This post had me cracking up! I can confidently say that I would be the same way or worse. I pass when I get shots...I can only imagine giving my self one! Eeeek! Joey probably would have been right in thinking I passed out and hit my head if I were you! Love you and your sense of humor :)
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Anna
4/1/2012 03:26:01 am
I was able to give my dog shots, but I can't handle needles coming for me. I think I'd be like you.
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10/12/2013 12:35:27 am
Janet, this is the first time I'm reading your blog (hope you don't mind my stalking). I'm loving reading about your journey. This post has been my favorite so far-so funny and raw at the same time.
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AuthorHi! I'm Janet, a 35 year old wife, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, event planner and lover of life. My amazing husband of 9 years, Joey, and I struggled with infertility for 4 years. I welcome you to read my stories as I share my sometimes crazy thoughts on our journey through Archives
June 2014
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