Well, that was me, for pretty much my entire life. I am lucky, I have no doubt. My husband is the most wonderful man on Earth (no really, he is). I have an amazing family that I love dearly, and I could never live without my fantastic friends. I have a great job that allows me to bring people joy, a cute house with a big yard and two lap cats that snuggle with me every day. I love traveling, hiking, gardening, family, friends, volunteering, animals and babies…yes, babies, and this is where the problem lies.
My husband I met in high school and have been together for almost 15 years. We had so much fun growing up together. He played baseball and I traveled abroad. Even though we remained together on our separate journeys, our lives fully merged in 2004. We married and I left life as I knew it to travel with him and live the baseball dream. And it was dreamy! Married life was in full swing and we were having fun. Too much fun, I’m sure of it. A couple years later the baseball dream ended and we got a late start on “real life”. We were settling down and it was about time we had a family. But before the kids came along, we wanted the family car, the family house, the family friendly job, etc. We were setting ourselves up for, you guessed it...perfect failure and I should have seen it coming.
For 15 years we had talked about a family…15 years! It wasn’t just a thought we came across, we always knew we wanted kids. We always thought we would have a couple or few of our own and then possibly adopt. Share our love of the world with little ones and have them help us spread our “luckiness” around.
On every road trip and over every wine laden dinner we talked about what our family would be like and look like. What we would name our kids, where we would take them, on and on.
For over 3 years we have been trying to make these thoughts a reality.
So this is it…this is that small random thought I used to have; “There is no way my life can always be THIS good”. It’s true, good things must always come to an end. Inevitably it was going to be something, and I always knew it. But this??? I’m healthy! I’m exercising, eating right and feel great! We’ve done everything right and have taken all the right steps to INSURE this would go off without a hitch. What could be wrong and why is my body failing me? It just doesn’t make sense...
My Random Thought: Is it really luck?? I probably just have those blinders on that only see the good. Some call it naive; I call it my perfect world.