One day, as I’m getting ready to go to sleep, I start thinking about my weight. Earlier in the day I felt as though I may have gained a pound or two. Now, I’m thin, so I’m okay with a few pounds, but what I really want to know is if it’s caused by the medication I’m taking and if so, how many pounds should I be preparing myself for. Sooooo…I grab my iPhone off my nightstand and start doing some research. Sure enough, the medication says right on it “weight gain”. Welp, that explains it. Of course it doesn’t say how much I should expect so, I guess I just need to keep my eye on it because if this doesn’t work, I’m sure as hell not going to gain a ton of weight for nothin’.
I continue my search and next on the list is anxiety. I knew it! I totally knew I was hearing voices in the house the other day and now I have confirmation that this medicine is making me crazy. I go over to the chat forums to continue my “research”. There was one lady who had so much anxiety, it combated the weight gain and she actually lost weight. And there was another lady who had to go on anxiety pills the third day of the medication because it made her so crazy. Oh man, I hope those voices don’t come back? Should I go to the doctor and tell them about it? Maybe I need more pills? Do I need to put a stop to this before it gets worse?
I go back to the list of side effects and there it was. It was like a curse that came to haunt me. INSOMNIA. I already have trouble going to sleep and now it's inevitable, I’m never going to get to sleep. Ugh! Why did I read that!? Why did I ever pick up my phone? I should have listened to everyone. I’m so mad at myself. Can’t I just pretend I didn’t read it? How am I going to get this out of my mind? I laid in bed with my eyes wide open for the rest of the night, making vows to myself to never do that again.
A week later I’m headed to my “baseline” doctor’s appointment. This is when they draw blood and look at an ultrasound to see if I’m responding to the medication. The day before, my medication dose was increased, so I’m assuming everything isn’t going as well as planned. I’m skeptical anyway, so upping my dose didn’t help. Anyhow, the doctors just keep saying everyone responds to the medication differently and some people may have 20 follicles and some people may have less than 10 (follicles are what house the eggs before ovulation). Obviously you want more, so you have a better chance of getting a good one out of it.
At my baseline appointment they only find four larger follicles. Now, I’m not sure what this means and no one seems too concerned about it except me, so...you guessed it, I turned to the Internet. All over the screen I read about women who have follicles in the double digits. And some of those women didn't even get pregnant. I read an article from a doctor’s site that said they don’t do the procedure unless there are at least five good follicles. Holly crap! I’m one short! What are they going to do? Will all of this be cancelled? Have I been torturing myself with shots for nothing? What are we going to do if it’s cancelled? OMG! I tell Joey about my new found information and he scolds me for searching around, he knows good and well where it got me last time. Since he’s not responding to my crisis, I guess I’ll just let it be.
The doctor called me later in the day to say that everything is on track. Whatever that means, and I’m positive she’s just saying that so I don’t freak out. Ummm, too late.
My Random Thought: All in all, I’m actually feeling pretty good. Maybe all I needed was a shot in the ass to get me going!